Tuesday, February 22, 2005

HUMILITY...A PARADOX LESSON

I have learned a lot about humility in the last few days. I guess l am still learning.

Have you ever accomplished something humongous only for people to turn back and deny you the credit? Well l am at that point in my life. I am learning the hard way in the class of life.The subject being humility. I am learning that in God's on time He lifts us up before nations. And its a lesson l am learning the hard way. Its when you don't get a deserved pat on the back. The funny thing is,you know you really don't need it. Yet it would be a good,NO, a great idea if someone came up and said you know that was a splendid job you did right there.But living with the feeling of non-recognition is tougher than l thought. Yet it feels good.It feels good because l know God is doing stuff behind the scenes that l am not aware of right now.

A paradox ...is what this situation of mine can be called.One minute... l am greatful that l am not getting recognized. Another... l am wailing inside at the irony of having accomplished this yet without recognition. I just have this mixed moments in my life right now. But am cool. Yesterday l read something beautiful..that we attract success by what we become. That's deep if you ask me.

Friday, February 18, 2005

DIVERSITY CELEBRATES BEAUTY OF DIFFERENCES

I have been here before. That looks like a situation l have been in before. Its dejavu baby.

Yesterday l had a two hour moment where l was put on the spot to apologize for getting offended for someone's irresponsible behaviour.

I know l sound so off its unbelievable. I also didn't believe it. What is it with people turning tables on someone who says something is offending them? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!!! If you get offended by something l have done, why should you be the one to apologize if you get offended? Why can't l look in the mirror and genuinely feel sorry that l put you in an awkward position? Something's wrong with this picture. Only l don't know what is.

I believe that apologizing for getting offended compromises my personality. Why? It means that its okay for you to do what you have done. I am fine with it. It is defining me. It is asking for uniformity and not diversity. Yes baby diversity. Being different should not threaten us. Instead it should allow us to celebrate our differences. Imagine if God created all of us the same? Brother it would be a uniformity nightmare.

I read something interesting today..some devotional which said..Jesus came to save us from sin, not to take our minds. That statement right there celebrates diversity. Look around you and let it click..DIVERSITY BEGETS BEAUTY BABY.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Oh No!! THE STATUS MEETING!!!

Hey wassup?!!! Today is a bright day both outside and inside my roho. I am so excited mental acrobatics wrote back. You guys are cute. Asante.

Today is my status meeting day. Trust me, my diary is being followed to the point especially the last 24 hours. I am thinking Lord where did l slow down? What happens when you have a deadline you have been ignoring creeps up? My creativity is at its best. I am doing things l said l would do sijui when. Now l am at full speed. This doing thing is something else altogether. My manager is coming in, in a few hours time. She will look at my diary and everything l said l would do and hasn't been done, will be charged. Na hacheki na mtu. She is crazy.Then we will set up my schedule for the next two weeks...brother!!! So you can understand why l am seriously pursuing the goals l set out two weeks ago.

When you see someone at the top, please ask them what they had to do to get there. Of course l am talking about those who honestly got to the top.

I read something that stuck with me the other day. What do you need to sacrifice to get to your dream? Something has to go,l just wonder what. But trust me right now, l need to finish everything that is in my diary.

I promise l am not walking this path again..the path of postponing and doing things last minute

Monday, February 14, 2005

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG?!!!

Okay. I am honestly trying to have people visit my blog and read on, plus comment. I just seem not to be able to get it going. So l have stopped complaining. I am reading everything that would help my blog get read. Anyways, the last few days have been interesting.
I am at a place you call the'doing part.' This is the place where you do what appears in your diary. No postponing or anything like that. But of course the postponing is kinda getting the best of me. Seeing l have a status meeting coming up on Thursday, my days are filled with making sure what l said l would do is actually done. That is the advantage l have found with having someone to be accountable to. It gets tough at some point because the speed alone can actually take you up and down a mountain.
Today l got stalled coz the IT guy was working on my comp. Okay usually l would find something else that needs doing then l would roll on. But today, l just wanted to work on the comp. I was just taken aback. I need to think straight. I need to keep going. I think l stalled somewhere and l need to start all over again. Don't you ever wish that every day was a holiday? But that Bible verse that talks about laziness couldn't be more real about poverty grabbing you like a thief. Okay am done talking about how bad things are or how tough it is reaching my goals is. Lets just get to it.