Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Thank you very much!! but l'll stay my course!!!

Its funny isn't it...that you can be busy following your life's charted course only to meet someone who says something that begins to cast doubt within you. You begin to wonder if at all you are on the right path or headed towards your God given destiny.

Lately l have become pretty confident about where it is l am headed for and what it is l want out of this life. But last Saturday as l was talking with a friend she was sounding more sure of where she was going than l was.I sat there listening to her  and wondering why  l was doing what l was doing. Please note l know what it is l want. That, l am not kidding about. So here she was talking about Public Relations and the direction she thought best to approach her future in order to get successful. Of course, school featured highly. Currently, she is studying PR in one of our local universities. So believe me, when she said that she knew the direction she was choosing was right, l nodded with no hesitation. After we had some dinner she had prepared l went home. The conversation that we had had begun to ring in my head. And for sometime, l didn't know why l was feeling like someone had sucked the life out of me. That was Saturday. Come Sunday. Later in the morning as l was preparing a concept note for a donor, l begun to realize why l loved what l do. I also begun to see why it is l have decided that this is the best path to take.Then something dawned on me like the way you feel when you take a shower after  a jog. Yeah right!!! It was beautiful. I thought to myself, "Baby girl, let them chart their course. I am doing fine where l am at." And with that l closed a chapter that could otherwise have turned nasty.

So what was this revealing truth that felt so refreshing? Very simple, l thought to myself.But you see its true. Its true that many times we come across people who will make us doubt if we are on the right track. They will make our dreams seem smaller than normal. They will make us wish we hadn't shared them in the first place. Simply put, you will be tempted to run their course and not yours. How many times have you been tempted to do that? And how many times have you actually run their courses? Right now if you check your life, are you doing what you are supposed to be doing with your life or are you living the life others have proposed to be fine yet makes you miserable? I have gotten to a place in my life where l no longer want to run someone else's course. I want to run the course God wants me to. I want to live my dream even if l am crawling to get to where it is l hope to get to.

You know, l have a standing admission to a University in the UK and for the last three years l keep looking for scholarships. This year and next l have told myself will be when l will summon all my energies to get to school. They say scholarships are easy to get for masters and easier for women ...l wish they could prove that:-) But l have told myself l will not bow down. That Saturday as l told my friend about my Masters plans and the way l want to launch a serious go at making it to class come Sep 2005 God willing, l could see she was not interested. I seemed to have hit a mine. This actually dawned on me later. And you know l sat down and had my little chit chat that l usually have when things don't go as planned. I decided someone somewhere will fund my schooling. I don't know who but God will open a door.

I keep doing fundraising for the office, so this will also be a Project. I believe l am good product that can run its course benefiting other human beings. So l have decided l will not run anyone's course. Yes l am doing PR; Yes l am doing Fundraising. But you know, l love fundraising more. Yes its a part of PR. I know that. In the office, trust me, l do more of Fundraising than PR. I have told myself l love fundraising because of what it enables people to do. I am so glad when l fund raise and watch things happen because of the availability of funds and the will that others have to make other people's lives better. So my dear l will run my course whether you support it or not.

Five years from now l want to be the one standing on the other end thanking God l took the risk and ran my course. Because then, the benefits of doing so will truly show as fruits of my life. Run your course no matter what happens.The joy of it is, to be able to see how far you made it even with all the negative choruses and disapproving looks. Run your course, not anyone else's. I am running mine.


Sasu...aka Balsera said...

Well all i have to say to you is GOOD ON YOU...i admire that conviction and i wish you well...actually i am pretty damn sure you will get what you want. With that sort of attitude there is no going wrong....please stay happy and thank you for being a strong, proud, African woman achiever.

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