Monday, December 19, 2005


I think part of greatness is not knowing you are great. Part of being considered kind and sweet is you not even knowing it. And even if you do, not showing it.

Have you ever met men who respect women without sweating it? No, he is not doing it for show. That's just him. No he doesn't expect anything back. All he wants is for you to be you.Being kind and nice is reflex action for him.Hmmm!!! The day l become that nice remind me not to blow my own trumpet.I have a talent for blowing my own trumpet:-)

I mean this person is a gentleman without trying. This is someone you stay up with just talking about whatever it is you want to talk about until the both of you get too drowsy to talk.Then you you know it is time to go home.

Today l honor him for giving men a good name.Thank you Teddy Bear for being you.

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Now l know why Oprah has to work extra hard to help the Americans get back to books.

I have now come to accept that most of us read because we have an exam. After campus or high school or whatever,reading a book for just gaining knowledge becomes a foreign idea. No wonder why most executives go into meetings and have no idea what hit them when they lose a contract. What actually hit you was your ignorance.

You have the money, purchase books and just read for the heck of it. Then watch how people marvel at the knowledge you have. For real try it out. A lot of people that read come across as arrogant. But what people watching them don't know is that these people have invested a lot in terms of time and money to get to where they are.

Of course there is a way to share info without making others feel like they are little crawling ants:-)

But for heaven sake try reading a book for just the heck of it then you will know for sure why Sir Bacon was right when he said...Knowledge is Power.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


In the last few months very little writing have l done on this post.But l have written a lot. Only it was on my mind. True. Last night l was thinking how when and if you want to get something done, it is safest to actually do it and not hope that one day you will get round to doing it.So here l am writing as always. I love writing.I also love reading.

Lately what gets to me is when l hear ignorance portrayed in a sentence which in the larger picture is part of a conversation. Oh no!! not ignorance of me being arrongant. No.It is ignorance from top executives.I keep wondering what happened to these people. For instance l keep witnessing firms getting into trouble with their employees because the firm didn't take into consideration the employees grievances.I watch large organizations in Kenya make mistakes that the west has already made and learned from. Then l wonder who is advising these directors? Who is sitting in their board of directors and steering the organizations?

My honest take...a fool learns from his mistakes, a wise man learns from others mistakes. Don't wait to learn from your own mistakes which could cost you thousands of dollars or in my case shillings especially if you are running a large business operation. That is why we are over 6 billion people on this planet.You don't need to be a first in goofs. Somebody went ahead of you and made the goofs for you.

Monday, December 05, 2005


There’s a sort of catch 22 situation going on in President Kibaki’s kitchen cabinet. This week he will make a critical announcement, which will change some of his men’s lives.

He could choose those that seem to agree with him and be sure that the squabbling will end. He could also bring in the Orange Democratic Movement - ODM and seek to work with them. Either way he will experience a catch 22.

This is how l see it. It is good to have the president’s ear. It is also noble to work with him without squabbling. But in the process of being agreeable to country’s CEO there’s a tendency to suck up. The President’s advisers are supposed to be people who are not tainted. People who live above the politics of the day in order to advice the President in making objective decisions. If you ask me, the President’s men didn’t act objectively.

By not bringing into the flock the Orange Democratic Movement the president will lose objectivity. There’s a lot of talk going on. A lot of speculation is doing rounds as to who is likely to be named. Either way, l believe it will be to his leadership’s detriment to keep the ODM out. No l am not sympathetic to ODM, l am being observant.
A lot of leaders don’t like to have people on board who challenge their ideas. They deem it safe to have all the boys and girls who agree with them surround them.

They should take a lesson or two from Jim Collins, a CEO who was featured a few months ago in Fortune magazine – Europe edition. Jim has a board that is comprised of people who don’t agree 100% with him. According to him these people are very key to his success as a leader. Why? They keep him alert. He likes to explore their line of thought to know exactly why they choose those views. He also says it keeps him humble because he usually thinks through his options before presenting them knowing very well they might be trampled on. You might wonder why go into all the trouble then? You see, this is the trouble that President Kibaki doesn’t want to face. Or should l say his ‘closest allies?’ That, among other reasons is why the draft constitution didn’t see the light of day.

Trouble is when you have everyone agreeing with you, you never see your pitfalls. People who seek the CEOs attention always have an agenda but the CEO doesn’t always see the bias. No one needs to hear the truth more than the CEO. Even though this is true, according to Harvard Business Review David Nadler the Chairman and CEO of Mercer Delta Consulting notes that, ‘in the CEOs presence, people are guarded, unwilling to raise difficult topics.’ This then feeds into people telling the CEO what he wants to hear. If he hears something negative he responds to it with difficulty because those around him will not allow him to dissect it with the open mind it requires.

Half the time these advisers are taking care of their jobs. The closeness they have with the CEO blinds them as to whether they are loyal to the boss or to his effectiveness as a leader.

In this case, the advisers who surround President Kibaki didn’t tell him the truth when it came to the referendum. I believe they told him what he wanted to hear and what they thought he wanted them to say.

African leaders need to learn from this. If you surround yourself with people who don’t stretch you, the pitfalls will not be very far. There will be unrest because the information you receive is biased. Sadly, even the advisers won’t know that their info is biased. This information is biased because although the adviser should be independent, there are all these people lobbying him. Why? Because they know he has the president’s ear. Yet half the time what the advisers hear from their sources is propaganda and not intelligence.

It’s a tricky business of being the country’s CEO and being the country’s CEO adviser. It’s unique. You need to define boundaries and have what Mr. Nadler calls – Zone of connection. Simply put it’s the balance between strong personal bonds with strong personal boundaries. Creating this helps the adviser keep his value to the CEO because he won’t get compromised.

As for the president, the lessons that Mr Nadler gives could be turned around to help him get the right men on board.
Personal advise – don’t bring all the boys and girls who agree with you on board. Instead have a balance. Get stretched and seek to work with those that have different thoughts.

Also don’t try and incorporate them like you did with the Coalition government. Don’t allow their voices to be drowned. Because then you will only have the suck ups as part of your cabinet.

Either way Mr President, it’s a catch 22 situation you have in your hands.

Monday, October 17, 2005


Its freezing outside. I stare outside the office window with me just bundled up in warm thoughts. At least l have a pullneck and some knee-length boots to warm my legs seeing that l have mini skirt suit on. Anyways, that's not the point.

I Like it when l see or hear a guy just make a woman feel good. And no we are not talking about what it is you are thinking about.Feeling good about herself, that's my point.

I like it when a babe's self esteem is pampered by a guy who has nothing to gain from doing that. Hmm!! Maybe this nostalgia is brought on by someone l know who does things for me and has nothing to gain. For real, this world has people who don't have to have anything in return for doing good or for being nice.And that my dear is a spirit l celebrate. It is so selfless as it is engaging.

I watched Richard and Julia in Pretty woman the other day and thought ... how nice.Yesterday l was reading when l got tired and checked out one of the channels. It had a CSI Miami episode. I loved it. Not the whole thing but just some statement the main character said at the end. He was trying to get a lady who was a hooker out of that life and so he shows up in the adult booth. Guess what he does? You can't guess in a million years. He gives her about 3 or 400 dollars. He then tells her take a break for tonight.Of course the lady is stunned when she asks what he wants and....

all he says is...l want nothing.I just need for you to take a break tonight.
The lady asks...what about tomorrow?
CSI guy says... you will make tomorrow what you want it to be.

Right there baby. That is profound.The guy walks away.Oh my!!!

I just thought that was the nicest thing l had seen someone do for another...doing for somebody something without expecting anything in return. To me, selfless love just has a hold on me and especially if it is a guy doing it for a lady.Its beautiful. Sadly, am a sucker for selfless love.


It’s dirty and ruined
Clumsy and muddied
Just yesterday it was new
This morning it was fresh
Now it looks like something from the wild
Whose smell no one will yield
Whose existence no one will believe
How did my world change?

How did l get here?
With it all my memories gone
My dreams, visions and desires
My history and breathtaking moments are gone
Everything l held dear
Forever ruined
How did my world change?

How did l get here?
My photos
Capturing my first date
Wedding day, first time l got pregnant
First time my baby walked
Capturing my first times
How did my world change?

How did l get here?
The sky’s no longer blue
The sun scorches not shines
The baby cries doesn’t laugh
Fatigue plagues me
Disappointment springs from my husband’s eyes
How did my world change?

No baby, NO!!!!
Don’t give me answers
They calmeth me not
No sense they make
Little peace they render
So allow me if you will
To find the answers on my own
To find the strength to face tomorrow
If God be there
He sure will direct me

©2005.Dedicated to all those who have lately faced storms both natural and spiritual.


Amazing, is what you are
It’s wonderful to know you
To know you as a friend
To believe with pure abandon
That you’ve got my back

We’ve come a long way
Through the hurdles
Through the scorching sun
Through the stormy wind
We’ve come full circle

Amazing, is what you are
It’s beautiful to see you nod with approval
To just know you as a friend
To believe with pure abandon
That you’ve got my back

We’ve come a long way
Thank you is all l want to say
Thank you for the warm hug when l needed one
Thank you for the knowing wink
Thank you for the laugh that you gave and give me

Tell you what

Amazing is what you are
A beautiful gift from God
That l will always embrace
A gift so treasured.

Tell you what

Amazing is what you are
So sweetie
Thank you is the very least l can say
No matter what happens between us
Thank you for being you
Thank God l have you


Amazing, is what you are.



I stand in a corner
Knowing no better
Shaking and shivering
Fearing the thunder

A thunder l only know so well
As my heart swells
Filling up with fear
As l wonder what to do next

I should know better
Because l know you love me
Because you are watching my every move

Human is what l am
With no trust when all crumbles
With all doubt when l trip
Human is what l am

I should know better by now
Because of your promises
Because you deliver like always

But human is what l am
So help me Lord, as l hear the thunder near
To believe you will deliver me
like you always do



There’s something about you that’s unique
I can’t tell you what it is
But for now l’ll tell you
What l know you know l know

I know for sure

You are gentle with every thought l share
You are sweet with every fall l encounter
You are intense with every moment l bear

I know you know l know

What’s in your eyes?
Can’t tell what it is
Looks like fondness, looks like infatuation
Maybe love
But l’ll tell you what l know you know l know

I know for sure
You are love in your every move towards me
You are love in your every word you whisper to me
Dear Jesus you are love in all you do for me

I know you know that l know for sure
You are love in every way
Dear Lord



This is me
The whole of me
As God created me… No apologies, No regrets
The whole of me is beautiful
Is tender and treasured
Makes me curious
Makes me glad
The whole of me is beautiful
My blossoming chest
My wonderful curves
The fluctuation of my moods
My menses
That’s me
No apologies, No regrets
The whole of me is beautiful
I may not understand me
But the whole of me
The whole of me is beautiful

Dedicated to the struggle to get sanitary towels to our girls here in Kenya

Friday, October 14, 2005


I know her
I feel her
Her curvy self
Her sweet and shy self

I know her
She is me

I know her
She is me

Beautiful skin
Deep chocolate
Even passing for white
Rich hair
I know her
She is me

I know her
She is me
Just as beautiful
Just as natural
As God created her
She embraces the beauty of God
So embedded in her
This African girl is striking
I know her
She is me

Embracing the beauty of God
So embedded in her

This is dedicated to you my are beautiful

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Now l know that there's a marriage that works forever and ever.

Have you seen preparedness meet opportunity? Nothing locks in key like this two elements when it comes to dreams.

Its when you hear people say...they have had success in a relatively short time. Short time? Ask that unknown athlete for how long he has been training? Ask him how long he has been training and waiting for that moment when the silver lining penetrates the dark clouds. Ask him? Go ahead.

I know for sure...that when preparedness meets opportunity, there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.

Preparedness is faith with hope that the dream will come to reality. Opportunity is when your faith just got tangible.

I am learning that when preparedness meets opportunity the world is not big enough to hold it neither is the dearest blue sky the limit.

Now l know there's a marriage that lasts forever... that of preparedness meeting opportunity.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Have your dreams ever come true to appoint you thought you were hallucinating? For real l went home and thought l was hallucinating.

Yeah!! that happened to me yesterday.4 sheezy.

Dreams actually come true. Now l know that if you push hard enough, want it bad enough, holla about it loud enough, God surely gets it to you.
Soon all my dreams will come true.Totally true in Jesus Name...and the church said...AMEN!!Make it a loud AMEN...AMEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!! Preach preacher!!! Alrighty baby.

Yesterday someone made me know that what l needed was as easy to get as ABC.Plus they not only told me it was easy but they told me that they would help me get it. No strings attached. All of my life l have waited for this, only for it to hit me in the face and this hard. Yaani, yesterday l went home and had to slap myself to see if it was really true or l was dreaming.What helped me is that l was with a friend of mine when all this was happening. This morning l went to her and asked her if it was really true, to which she girl IT BE ALL TRUE, IT BE ALL TRUE.

The problem with people like me is that l have huge, not big, but huge dreams. Sometimes for those dreams to come true it takes you being clobbered by people's limitations to a pulp. You have no idea what that clobbering does to your spirit.

But baby when you get up,you will sing AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN TOO HIGH till your voice gets hoarse.


Thursday, September 29, 2005


Very bad!!! very very bad. Honorable Mwenje and Ndolo, that was uncalled for. You guys just gave your team a D minus. You were looking so good.Until the water was thrown through the window with the baby.

Strategy. Do you have one? Do you also have a strategist? If you do, where was he/she? I know you can't keep tabs on all your members but where was he/she?

Waheshimiwas, Kenyans love peace. If you are inclined to or even associated with any violence you will lose this vote. For sheezy, for real. No one is going to even think about it. When Mheshimiwa Uhuru alleges that people were sent to disrupt their rally, its all good. Not the disrupting No.Just the alleging part. But when the Mheshimiwas themselves go out and actually disrupt a meeting and cause damage to a city hotel's property, you have just sunk deeper than the worst sewers of Nairobi.

Wanjiku has four basic but common sense strategies for you politicians if you want to win this referendum. You can add the complex ones, Wanjiku just has four basic ones:-

Common sense Strategy 1 - you look better alleging than throwing stones and shooting in the air.
Common sense strategy 2 - you look clever when you are quiet than opening your mouth and issuing horrendous threats.Kenyans are keenly watching and listening.
Common sense strategy 3 - You look credible when you focus on what the Draft Constitution actually says than what you think it says.Believe me.
Common sense strategy 4 - Don't malign your opponents otherwise you will begin to lose ground and gaining that trust again will take a lot of damage control.Simply, no name calling.

Wanjiku rests her case.


Awe! Shock! and then an overwhelming feeling of horifficness.!!! Is there a word like that? I know it might be missing from your dictionary, but mine has it. I am horrified. I can't believe it. You know, human beings are funny. They wait for the knight in shinning armor.I read something on the Kenyan Pundit's blog and was just beside myself.She wants to help mentor kenyan girls from this school and yet can't even get audience with the Principal.Why? Because it is obvious she is not a international NGO. When will we learn that great ideas should be grabbed and worked on? When shall we learn as Kenyans, to respect the small person with great ideas?

It has just brought so much memory laced with pain. I get dismissed simply because l have ideas that seem strange.The other day l actually felt it.Dismissed.

Ideas run the world.But in Kenya and in some offices, creativity is trashed.The other day l prayed and asked God to help me get to a place where my ideas are not only appreciated but also funded.When people are not interested in the process they get shocked when the results are not what they were looking for.

Being interested in the process doesn't mean micro managing people.It means you need to get interested in not only the bottom line but also how they get there. No wonder people get fleeced and then you later hear the question... oh my God when and how did this happen?

We need not only to be result oriented but also process-oriented. If you are a boss you need to know what is going on in the organization you lead and l mean know!!It will also help the employees know that you are interested in their ideas. But when you dismiss them with the result orientedness in focus, you are helping dig a grave where your fleeced stuff will be buried.

Funny thing is if an expatriate showed up with the same idea in Kenya, they would get some red carpet welcome and a party would not be a second guess. Yet, you leave out someone amongst you who had an even better idea and who you could pay less than the expat.

Fat irony- same Kenyans keep chanting - buy kenya build Kenya - which Kenya?

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Okay l was bound to talk about this. So lets just do a brief.

First, everything l write has to do with achieving dreams. Kenya's referendum is what l am talking about. I watched with a lot of interest these beloved politicians promise to do a round of rallies. Others just didn't put their moneys where their mouths were. It is one thing to say you will do something, it is totally another to be out there and doing it.Big difference, my dear, big difference.

Another thing l have a problem with is the fact that these leaders feel obligated to choose for me what l want to say in the referendum. They seem to forget that l have a mind of my own and that l need to make the decision for me and my future children. What is wrong with this picture?

And then those that feel they are being boxed into a corner for not doing their homework go off looking cheap by threatening others.What the*?!! And then the name calling plus shameful tactics of dictatorial leanings. SHAME ON YOU KENYAN POLITICIANS. NYINYI WOTE WA YES NA NO. You cheapen Kenyan patriotism. This is a time l am so ashamed to be a Kenyan. You look like kids fighting in the estate's car park. Wengine wameenda kuita daddy. Wengine wanapiga wengine ngoto. Kwani you don't have someone to help you sort this mess out.Shameless you all are.

You guys are giving us the different versions of the constitution. There is a constitution according to the yes camp and then there is one according to the no camp. Then there is the one that we are going to the referendum about. Kenyans like me who have read the constitution are watching in horror as it gets modified by the minute. Loudly, publicly and with no thread of shame.Half of these politicians are totally lying in broad daylight.

True there are contentious issues that need sorting out. But don't go exagerrating them to a point where wanjiku cannot make up her mind as she votes. My guess is that some of the confused Kenyans who will deem this constitution too large to go through will actually sit back and watch the others vote. Why? These versions are confusing. When you listen to the different camps you will actually be forgiven to think we have 3 draft constitutions... their versions are unbelievable.

And when you are fighting like this, who makes you think wanjiku will trust you?


Now, at the risk of sounding like the FEMA guys who arrived late plus plus... my prayers have been with those that were affected by Katrina. Really. It doesn't mean just because l didn't say it l didn't think about it. I actually prayed for all those people plus the kids who l saw on missing kids.

It is a sad state of affairs. So my dear l will not go into the politics of who came when and who should have done what. But one thing l have learned is that it is safer to do the right thing first time round than try making it right after you have goofed. It is costly and time wasting. Plus all issues that concern life and death are emotive so no common sense is being applied. Respect is abandoned at the altar of bitterness and all we are left with after the drama and all, is a bitter taste of shamed reality.You wish you had done the right thing at the right time. Wish you had said the right thing at the right time and wish that you were alert when you were meant to be.

A mess is what this life is. We are here to make it better.

But once again, l prayed and continue to do so for all the residents of New Orleans. Stay positive l beg of thee!!!


I have come to believe that dreams actually do come true. I have also come to believe it is one thing to say you will do and another to do what you committed yourself to do.I have found that most of us don't have an idea how much hard work it is to actualize dreams. Now l know why there are few people who are celebrated by the rest of us. The difference is that they actually did their homework.

I have decided to be part of those that do their homework. I have quit talking and that is a great deal for me. Instead l am investing my energies in achieving what l see in my dreams. Of course this is coupled with prayer and a lot of wise decision making. I have told myself that if others have made it, l will surely make it. Seeing that God is a great part of my life and that l am not expecting Him to do my homework.

You know, l have come to believe that dreams actually do come true.But you have to be willing to do your homework.

Monday, August 15, 2005



Sighs they are
Life just gave me a kick
no not a bad one
a reality one

Dreams!! Dreams!! Dreams!!
they tell you they can happen
they tell you if you are committed
if you are determined
if you are persistent
focussed, unwavering and strong hearted
there's something they don't tell you though

They don't tell you
it could get painful
it could get ugly
hurtful, remorseful and tear jerking
they just don't tell you
of the wounds you might get
of the rotten attitudes you may have to deal with
of the paining heart you may have to carry around
they just don't tell you

The horizon
has promise
is bright
My hand outstretched
And l still cannot get to it
What will l do
my hand is tired
my spirit fatigued
how will l get to the horizon
they just didn't tell me how to get to the horizon

Pray thee, What will l do?
They didn't tell me
Do you know?

copyright kamundulio 2005

Thursday, August 04, 2005


Voila!! Yeebo!!

I once heard that when you confess something you begin to believe it. Now l know what they didn't add, that after you believe it you beigin to live it. That my dear is what my life was until a few days ago.

I have been sourcing for funds to go to school . My first assignment is actually due this month but l will hand it over in a three weeks time. But that is not the twist.

You see for a long time l never looked at what l had in my hands. That is my income. I kept thinking it is too little to pay for school. I wanted to eat this school elephant all at once. Well, this week l actually got an idea how l could eat this elephant piece by piece without chocking.

Surprise surprise l can actually pay for my MA. Shock on me. I have learned that when you complain you actually don't see the blessing. It becomes all mixed up so that your blessing is trampled upon.

Did l tell you l love life? And that l love the way God just puts stuff in our way and knocks us to our senses to see His blessings? My blessing was all the while right in front of me and yet l could not see it. Irony. I love life.

I celebrate the survivors of Hiroshima bombing

This morning l was warmed up as l was preparing to leave for work.I was watching a few pieces on the Hiroshima bombing.

As l spare a moment to think about those that died and how they died, I want to celebrate the survivors of The Hiroshima bombing. I celebrate them because it took them mountainous courage to just go on.

I thank God that they found the strength and desire to live. Reason being half the time when you lose all your family, most of us don't have the energy to live on. What for? Is usually the question. But when l listen and see the survivors 60 years on, l get encouraged knowing that God has given the human spirit a resilience only He can explain.


The first time l heard of Dr Garang's death, l was numb. First l thought that the Sky presenter had just missed out something. Then when l went on to CNN and other leading stations, the message was clear.

Numbness was followed by pain that cannot be explained. Since then l have written a poem in his honor. The poem though is directed to God. Of course it opens my confusion and pain to the world but mostly it is to God.

I work out at hotel that has one of the best instructors in town. On my way there l often meet Sudanese waiting to get into meetings.Yesterday was sad. I met this Sudanese just outside the hotel. The look on his face was unnerving. It felt like that of an orphan.

I don't know why l feel so sad but l am. I just can't explain the feeling. This was not just anyone, this was someone who exhibited African leadership at its best.

And oh!! did l say l totally think the wife is diplomatic plus ambassadorial material? She is totally something else. When l look at her l know why my African hero was that competent.

Friday, July 22, 2005


This life of mine is full of drama. Its not all bad. Its good. At least 70% of the time.

For a long time now, I have had a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside.It comes from giving. And not giving because you have. Its giving because you want someone else's dream to come to pass.Its nice to help someone even when you know that they are not in position to help you back or give anything to you.I just can't explain it.Just that with my 2bob lt put a smile on a lady's face who's parents died of HIV/AIDS.
She's had a painful 6 years. Her smile just made me happy. It was enough.

Just to watch a few hours plus a few coins plus alittle advice help someone like that was totally awesome.

Again it is nice to give even when you know that the person you are helping is not able to repay.It is so fulfilling.

Now l know, there are two types of truth!!

I have not stopped feeling jittery about my dilemma. Although it is comforting to see the responses from you. They are totally uplifting.

Yesterday l was wondering more about the weight and credibility of truth. I was just thinking sometimes someone with no status or at a disadvantaged position can say the truth. But someone who has the position and status in society can actually discredit the smaller person and make them look bad. Two types of truth. Just like akiey said l hope it comes back to them.

Okay enough about my truth and the terror its causing me. Actually for real it is terror. You know l have this one good shot at something l really want and then this comes up. Lord, it just jeopadizes the chance. But l am hoping and praying that these people will not come after my opportunity and block it on account l opened my mouth.

I now know, that before l say anything even if it is how truthful, l have to think about the consequences. Flip the coin and my personality just got a beating. Why? I am result oriented. So if something is not attended to in a long while l get jittery and speak out.

Oh dear, why is life so complicated?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Truth will set you free but not before you get into trouble

I have realized that some animals are more equal than others.I have also realized the reason why whistle blowing is not anybody's favourite cup of tea. Oh!! they knew about the pain that would be part of the consequence.

I didn't whistle blow, l only said the truth about what some people said. Then l reported it in an email, not at work, but at some fora.You guessed it, l got into trouble. Not big time trouble, but trouble.

I have since realized that the truth shall set you free is a necessary verse in the Bible. But what it doesn't add is that the truth can get you in a lot of trouble.
Now do you wonder why so many people had rather keep quiet than admit the truth? The powers that be would take all the time to hit and squash them to oblivion.
I have never hated the truth like l do now. Not that l embrace deception, just that l feel trapped by my beliefs and values. Suddenly l realize many people lie and get away with it. But not for the small person.

Sometimes its not what you are saying that's important, its who is saying it.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Where have l been?

Hey wassup world?!!!!

Finally l am here and excited about what is going on in the world of me. Okay that totally sounds selfish. But its true. I am happy that l held on to a dream.I want to work on it though because l have realized before a dream comes to completion, you truly have to keep fighting for it.I now know that it is one thing to have a dream said, it is totally another to action it. It is also another to see it come true. Finally l get to do my MBA in Project management. Then after that, run towards my PHD. Trust me, l have been all over this and l need to have this going. I have no alternative but to run with this.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


With baited breath we read the screaming headlines on June 22,2005 Nation newspaper, “Yes, we have HIV too, say four clergymen.”

For the first time in the living memory of any Kenyan, we witnessed clergy come out in the open without fear or shame about their HIV and AIDS status. In fact l am appalled that some of them have suffered discrimination and stigma in the hands of the church, an institution that is supposed to have protected and even embraced them. But what held my breath was the fact there is a strong feeling now about making the church respond to this disease. Not just acknowledging its existence, but tackling it.

Trans World Radio – Kenya in conjunction with Tearfund launched a Kiswahili HIV/AIDS Pillars Guide manual titled - Jinsi Ya Kukabiliana Kikamilifu na Viini vya HIV na Maradhi ya Ukimwi. The English Translation - Responding more effectively to HIV and AIDS is also available.
Hearing these brave clergymen acknowledge that they had HIV and in a public place has become a plus in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Canon Gideon Byamugisha of Uganda who is believed to be among the first among the clergy to declare he was HIV+ said something strategic. “Many of Africa’s deaths are preventable, postponable and reversible if only we can defeat stigma, shame, discrimination, denial and inaction”- Nation June, 2005. This statement shows a great gap in the efforts of the church and it’s fight against HIV/AIDS. This is the gap that this book addresses in its 24 chapters.
In its highly interactive format, it helps the reader acknowledge not only the existence of the disease but also the growth of stigma and discrimination in the church. This book critically looks at the role of the church and what should be its response. It covers health issues like medicinal drugs, tests for HIV and healthy eating.

What stands out is the format that it has been presented in. After every subject has been highlighted, and discussed, then comes the discussion bit. At the end of the book there are 11 soul searching Bible studies that call for open discussion. This Pillars Guide is meant to be used in small groups. The Bible Studies cover subjects like Attitudes towards the disease, Sex, caring for orphans and widows and God’s amazing love among others.

Church leaders who find themselves overwhelmed with the idea of starting discussions on HIV and AIDS will find this material valuable. This book will not only help them start discussion on this subject but will also help them tackle different areas as far HIV and AIDS is concerned.
A church leader, Faith Based Organization or any individual experiencing difficulties in breaking the silence about HIV and AIDS in the Church should get this book and use it as a tool to do so. Leaders can also purchase it in bulk for their members at discounted prices. They can also encourage their members to get it.

The book, which is now available at Trans World Radio – Kenya situated off Ngong Road on Kamburu drive will soon be in all leading bookshops in Kenya.
The costs are as follows:
Ordinary cost – Kshs.350
Orders above 15 – Kshs.325
Orders above 25 - Kshs.300
Authored by Isabel Carter
Translated to Swahili by – Trans World Radio – Kenya
You can call us and ask for Maria Wanza at 573938/20/46

This review will soon be appearing in The Christian Professional Magazine - the magazine for the society conscious.


There are things l personally believe in. One of those things is being part of helping make this a better world. In that vein of thought, l would like you to read this. If you want to make a change support it.

Appeal to ensure the girl child does not miss school due to menstruation

Across Kenya, the lack of appropriate and adequate sanitary and sanitation facilities prevents many adolescent girls from attending school consistently, especially when they are menstruating. Due to the high cost of sanitary towels which presently stand at Kshs 79 per pack of 7, children from economically disadvantaged families continue to suffer in silence, using unhygienic material like sponges, mattresses, tissue paper and even leaves or avoiding school altogether during their menses. The irony is that, girls do not choose whether or not to get menstruation. This is a natural biological process.

The Girl Child Network (GCN), a network of 312 organizations supporting the rights of the girl child drawn from individuals, local and international organizations in recognition of the gravity of the situation facing adolescent girls, has initiated the Sanitary Towels (ST) Campaign. The aim of this campaign is to mobilize and distribute sanitary towels to 500,000 girls in upper primary schools and secondary schools, all over the country, and to lobby the government to include budget for sanitary wear in the primary and secondary education package.

In a bid to raise funds to meet the project costs, GCN would like to invite your organization to be our media partner and thus make this campaign a reality. The event/campaign will be launched on 6th July 2005 and targets to raise over Kshs.600 million to fund campaign activities which include demystifying menstrual periods through awareness campaigns, advocating for policy change in all sectors of government and distribution of sanitary towels to needy adolescent girls. All major sponsors will be recognized in the mass media and also receive commendation.

A bank account No. 0181799021 titled GCN sanitary towels campaign has been opened at Commercial Bank of Africa, Mamlaka Road Branch. Donations to the fund will, without exception, be ploughed into campaign activities. KPMG will audit the project and a dossier, complete with the detail of activities undertaken and schools supported, availed for scrutiny to all supporting partners and members of public.

The campaign is being spearheaded by the sanitary towels campaign committee and coordinated by Mercy Musomi, co-coordinator, Girl Child Network. Mercy can be contacted at the Girl Child Network, AMREF headquarters, e-mail and telephone/fax 604510.

All cheques should be drawn in favor of GCN Sanitary Towels Campaign and addressed to Mercy Musomi, Girl Child Network, Post Office Box Number 2447-00200 city square Nairobi.

For all further information on this program please contact the undersigned.

We look forward to your generous support.

Yours sincerely
Mercy Musomi

National Coordinator
Girl Child Network (GCN)


I have been thinking and thinking deeply.

Why is it that most of us diss the organizations we work for yet send our cvs out to get other jobs? Haven't we thought for one minute that as we diss our organizations or bosses that some other bosses who could be our potential bosses could be listening? Don't we ever think of what these bosses would think? If you were a boss today and you heard someone diss their boss, would you employ that person if they asked for a job in your organization? You have your answers.

But think for one minute. What goes around comes around. Today it is that person dissing their boss. Tomorrow you will be their boss. What will you do when you hear they are saying nasty things about you? I know once you accept leadership, it comes with an automatic bag of criticism. So basically you need to be thick skined.
I have also noticed that people who are totally critical are the worst performers at their jobs. They have zero performance. They have zero delivery.

Am l just being too critical or truthful? Observe. Check people out and especially those who have criticism as their middle name. Then get back to me.

Sunday, June 12, 2005


I support debt cancellation. But there is a condition to my support. And no, l am not biased. I am only realistic.

I like it that the Prime Minister Tony Blair is all out on this one. I like it that he is championing an African agenda. I like it that he is doing it with a passion. But l know he has thought of this. I just want to make sure that the G8 is thinking straight.

First, l don't like it that some African leaders are already crying foul. It was not a must that debt cancellation take place. It was totally an option.That some leaders are saying there is discrimination, is a cause for speculation. Secondly, l want the G8 to adapt some of the ideas by some of it's members on board. Countries in Africa that will get debt cancellation will be those that display or will display a willingness in eradicating corruption from their societies and they actually do it.

I am a proud African woman and a Kenyan at that. Kenya is working on it's corruption status. We are not doing so well but we are trying. But until we are all in agreement that we are doing something for real, the G8 should hold it's horses as far as debt cancellation and Kenya are concerned. I am worried when l hear someone, one person (please note), has swindled the Kenyan tax payer of millions of shillings. To make it worse, the person cannot be traced. What, are they aliens or do they live in space? Last time l checked no millionare from Kenya had applied to tour the land that few have visited,space. So surely, this person can actually be found.

I back the members of the G8 who say it should be a case by case consideration. Yes, l know this will have implications. But have you given someone a gift and watched as they mishandled it? Yet, if the same person worked for the same thing, they tend to handle it with care? What is the difference? Simple. Someone worked for it and understood it's value through the pain of sacrifice they went through to acquire it.

The G8 is not doing us any favors if they cancel the debts without allowing the African governments to work on eradicating the corruption vice.

But even as they hold the carrot for this hungry rabbit, standards should be monitored by the international community so that we don't have the impossible being asked of us.

To tell you the truth, this is one of the best ways the international community will help the mwananchi keep the government on it's toes.

Saturday, June 11, 2005


If this is not expecting too much from the human race, then l surely don't know what it is.You tell me. Sit tight and be the judge of it all. Drama drama drama!!!!

Why l pray oh why?Why don't we ever sit down and just draw the lines that link the dots. The dots that lead to insecurity in Kenya.

It is totally awesome that we are looking out for our forests. It is noble that we are thinking of making Kenya a better place to live. I like the idea. Who wouldn't? But l have a problem. When l see my fellow Kenyans being thrown out into the cold, then l get concerned. The eyes of the children and the tears of the old make one's heart just sober up as a result of pain. What is this we are watching on our screens? Why is that woman cooking her food under a polythene paper while she had a house just last night? Why is this child getting a fever while it could have been avoided?

I know they are on someone's land. But l also know that if you don't provide an alternative this same person will be pointing a gun to your head tomorrow asking for all your hard earned money.

And no. Poverty does not always result to insecurity. You know until you have opened your ears to some stories then you always think that insecurity is as a result of poverty. Actually it contributes less than 5%. You know how l knew? I was in a meeting where someone literally told us of an African country, l don't remember which, where no one steals. Or if it happens, it's a rare thing.Yet, when you walk into that place poverty is at a chockingly high level.No one steals from you. No one takes stuff that doesn't belong to them. And yes, they experience poverty more than we as a Kenyan lot do.

According to me, insecurity is highly a problem of attitude. That whatever you have is mine as long as l like it and l don't have it. That l must kill to get what you have or to get revenge. Yes, it is an attitude and a rotten one.

Having dealt with that, how about connecting the dots. Yes, dots that lead to insecurity. When you as a government sit back and bark orders and shout civil servants down to oblivion, tell me what you are expecting? Are you expecting that a father will go back home with all his male ego and look at his hungry child and do nothing about it?Recall the attitude l was talking about. With that attitude do you think for one moment that that father will blink at the thought of harming you to feed a hungry mouth? Then why don't you simply find an alternative.

If you are chasing those people out of the forests, have you thought about plan b? That is the exact problem l had with the free education concept. Good concept by the way. President Kibaki did us proud. But as he debated the idea, did he have implementors on the ground? People who were thinking through this very good idea? If they did, how come kids are like 80:1? Are these kids getting an education if any?

Now that we know how our education system is working, can we now see the importance of planning? If we do, are you wondering about a logical plan B for those that you are chasing out of the forests?

Remember, tomorrow as you get home one of them will have a gun to your head, how stupid then if you don't draw the lines that connect the dots to insecurity.


If you have been following this blog keenly by now you know l have something to say about the whole wide world. Yes l do. So how do you like that?hahaha!! Very naughty naughty girl. Its all good. Its all life. AND I LOVE LIFE!!!

Okay Dennis dennis dennis!!!!?!!! Of course Dennis Oliech. Why else would l say his name three times!!! Don't even think about it:-)This guy reads about poverty as history. I like it. The sweat of his brow has earned him a sawa lifestyle. I like it. I like it that he gets paid well to do what he does best. You know l totally believe in that. So here's the beef. First, this coin has two sides to it. Him not playing was very bad, very very bad. Considering that this guy could put afew of his team mates on his payroll and not feel it. I thought he should have played and hollared baadayez. Patriotism first. Flip that coin.

I don't like it that KFF thinks that they have a right to players even when they don't pay them. I told you Sambu Sir, that this game of not paying your players will catch up with you. What did you think? She is a woman. She is bluffing. Bluffing my foot(tongue in check). KFF is a sorry excuse for a federation. You give us so much shame we just don't know how to hide it. Our sorry selves are beaten to the ground when we go for international matches. Surely Sambu Omera, can't you do something better as time goes by?

So was Oliech right to not show up for the match? Your guess is as good as mine? This is an emotive issue especially because we were thwarked.

Like l said, this coin has two sides. But Sambu is sure riding this boat straight into an iceberg. You cannot mistreat people and expect them to smile. What, are you a danda head or something? You can't expect them to be matyrs of your horrid Public Relations and treatment then turn back and say, when is the next match?!!!!

Omera!! you are expecting too much.



Long time, no write. I have longed for a moment like this with baited
breathe. Why?

For the last l don't how long, l have been working on the Launch of the
*Pillars Guide - a manual on responding more effectively to HIV/AIDS*.
It has a Christian perspective to it. It is in Swahili and totally
awesome with audiences that are willing to make stigma history. It is
clear and to the point. Enough about it. But if you would like to find
out more about it, just holla and l will have it gotten to you. It was
worth the hussle. You know getting the who whos to the place of the
launch. Get everything right. You can't believe what you have to go
through to just get an audience of 150 people seated and listening to an
idea you think is great. It truly is a hussle.Anyways.

So l was saying that l have longed for a moment like this for a long
time. For the last one month l have been working for 14 hours or more.
It has been tiring. Sometimes surviving on 3 or 4 hours's sleep. How do
those people who do that survive without having a nervous breakdown?
Anything below 5 hours of sleep for me is totally out. Congrats to those
that live like that.Honestly. 3 hours and for what, a year of study and
working? You own the world truly.

Now at least l get to do one of the most interesting things in the
world...write what l want. I feel the air of freedom.I feel so
liberated. This morning l was thinking about it and couldn't help but
thank God for whoever thought of the idea of blogging. Oh Please!!
Editors are good. They keep you grounded. But half the time they are
chopping away at your work and sometimes making it into them. Suddenly,
you are checking out your article in the magazine or newspaper and it
has no resemblance to what you had in the first place. Power to the
bloggers of the net.

Editors, its nice to have a world that you exist.
You have taught me to appreciate the blogging world more.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


I have been watching keenly at what is going on around this country. There are many things to like and hate at the same time. Today l won't talk about insecurity or the appalling state of our roads or diss anyone. I am however concerned about stalled projects or ideas.

Take the matatu industry for example. Hon Michuki gave it a boost, was taken to another ministry that seems to be getting a face lift. Meanwhile, the ideas he started while running the Ministry of Transport are slowing running down the drain. Okay, l know a government official might want to defend themselves and say things are running sawa sawa. But from where l am standing, life came to a standstill when this Hon. Minister stepped out. Prove me wrong.

I am looking at the state of security in this country. It is scary to say the least. But if the Hon Minister keeps the tempo that he is employing to track down the thugs, insecurity will soon be a story. Trust me. It will take time but soon insecurity will go down. I know because l watched Hon Michuki deal with Kenyan matatu drivers in a way no one had taken them on. In a few months he had managed to do so much.

But l keep wondering, why do we start projects and then watch them stall before they are completed? We have that tenderncy to do that. Success doesn't know talent. Success recognizes consistency. Consistency is what we are lacking. Just look at the Harambee stars going to train and then finding themselves locked out of the field. I told you it was not about bringing in new coaches, it is about cleaning the rot in KFF. Stalling seems to be our middle name. You psyche the Stars up and then at just the opportune time, you squeeze out the little encouragement that is left. Hon. Ochillo, this is de ja vu. Are you still wondering why talent is getting poached by other countries?

Why can't we get consistent as a country in all the projects we start? Why can't we just complete them? Will it kill us?
Hey!!! Don't tell me its complex or complicated because it's not. AND YOU KNOW IT!!!

Take 2- another level

Its been long since l blogged. I have been having some intensive course at work from morning to evening for the last two and a half weeks. How do people go to class the whole day and then work in the evening? How do they do it? I mean l sat through these classes and by evening l was too tired to follow my coveted routine of sitting back with a cup of hot Kenyan tea and a book to enjoy. I was just too tired. Okay am done marvelling at Super women and men.

Now, it is encouraging to get mail from you after you read the piece on the guy. Yes, it is true and not making it up. And no, this is a very respectable guy. He is not one of those men who are bila identity. This guy knows where he is going. But you never know what springs out of the bag when issues of the heart sit staring at us on our faces.

I have been thinking that this gentleman has missed the train. I guess there are other ladies who can hang on to a guy even when he begins to indicate that he is not interested. One rule l have is that l never force a relationship to start or to work. That doesn't mean that l don't do my fair share of work on them. It simply means l know when it is time to let a jamaa go. Kwanza the chicks who hold on to guys even when the relationship is going to hell in a hand basket should know that they are not doing the women folk any favors. Plus once a jamaa says no, take it as that. Why? You might have his ring and his name but you lost the guy. Someone else is busy having him. All because you didn't have the guts to walk away with all your dignity intact.What is with us?

I have been told it will always be the battle of the sexes. So l won't attempt to sound sharp neither will l re-invent the wheel. Life is simple. The relationship is either working or not. Gray area? What gray area?

Monday, April 25, 2005

Another level baby

Lets take this to another level.

I have been thinking about a comment someone made the other day as we were having one of our heart to heart conversations. About what?:-) Men, what else. Okay so now, l tell my friend that there's this jamaa l truly like and that he has qualities that any babe would fall for. I liked him because he was truthful. What do l mean? I met him on the net. Through email specifically. Then l met him physically when he came to Nairobi. Apparently we were at a conference together in Addis. That's a story for another day.

But what l liked about this gentleman is that what he said he was, he was twice as good. I like honesty. Dishonesty is frightening to me. So you can imagine how taken l was. He was even cuter than his picture. Oh brother!! Okay am done whatevering.

But now comes the big BUT. After all is said and done, this guy says, "you know l think you are too good for me." What!!! Who ever made a statement like that?!!!!*!! I was so hgggggrrrrrhhhh!!! l just didn't know what to say.

My friend looked at me and she said.."if he thinks you are too good for him, you probably are." That just threw me off balance.I mean what the heck!!! When you just think you have landed on your feet suddenly you realize you were doing a head stand all this time.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


When you just think that enough has happened to warrant intelligent discourse, just then you get slapped with some remark the exhibits ignorance at it's best.The beef..Hon Ochillo Ayako.

What do you mean you will deport all Kenyan athletes who take up an offer to run for a different country, plus change their citizenship? Can you explain that to me because it seems you are living in the bundus or something. Mheshimiwa, tuliza boli. They say that in Sheng.Find out what it means.

Your threat was unnerving. I am so angry about that statement you made. Aren't you working with your PRO on what to say in public and it's implications? You sure need to just like all the rest of your colleagues who seem overwhelmed by their appointments more than two years after elections.

When you say that athletes will be deported, Mheshimiwa, you are not being honest. You are not being a true patriot. You are also not being a witty manager.

Have you wondered why we are losing so many? In your private moments have deeply consulted sincerely within yourself and wondered what the heck is happening? Have you taken a step further and thought,"hmmm!!! how do we sought out this mess?" ?Have you? If you haven't then kindly sir, don't comment. As far as l know, you haven't sat with these athletes and asked them personally why they are leaving. Changing citizenship is not a smiling matter.These athletes have thought seriously about it.They know the implications.

Hon Ochillo, you remind me of managers who when they have people leaving their offices for greener pastures, don't question why. They sit there thinking,"hmmm!!! too bad we'll just get someone else." They forget that a high turnover indicates flaws in the management. It also indicates that critical needs are not being met.

It is shameful that Kenya has to train it's athletes and then someone else enjoys the fruits of our hard work. Aibu kubwa sana!!! Why can't we work at retaining our athletes Mheshimiwa? If they are getting the money from elsewhere, why can't we simply become competitive by matching up? Haven't we thought that Kenya can actually poach sports people? Why do these tables keep turning on us? Why can't we turn them? And NO!!! don't tell me Kenya doesn't have the ability. You can't say that while your salaries and incentives are abnormal plus your garis are over 10million bobs. NO!!!

To say you are deporting them Sir, is to bury your head in the sand. Kenya has the ability to retain it's athletes and it must retain them.

If you satisfy the athletes, you will never have trouble retaining them. That my dear Sir, is what other countries have learnt and put to use effectively.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


I said that l haven't blogged for a while. Therefore, l have quite a number of observations to make in form of hollering:-)

What is it with the dramas surrounding First Lady Lucy Kibaki?!! What do these politicians want? Why do they keep saying some stuff that is questionable? Why can't they keep their thoughts to themselves?

You know what the problem is Hon. Owidi and the group? You Kenyan politicians have to get used to a strong woman making political statements. And please don't flatter yourselves, l am not a feminist. Although there is nothing wrong with being one. I am just trying to bang your heads with some reason.

Listen up.First Lady is a strong opinionated woman. When she and His Excellency got together those days(when you were not there), He knew what he was getting into. So quit defining her. Kenyan politicians are funny. They don't know what to do when a strong woman gets in their faces. It confuses them. They don't know what to do when a strong woman defends her husband. It scares them. Get used to it Gentlemen. You define her because you want her to fit into your mould of what you think women should be.

The likes of Hon. Owidi and the group remind me of a journalist in one of the leading international tv stations who compared First lady Mrs Bush and Former First Lady Hillary Clinton. The journalist went on to say,"these two are very different.Mrs Bush truly supports her husband in all that he does. She knows her place." What do you mean she knows her place? Didn't Hillary Clinton know her place when she saved her marriage rocked by a philandering husband? What do you call that? Look at how Dr Nzomo was ostracized for being opinionated. What did they label Nobel Laureate Prof Wangari Maathai when she couldn't be gagged?

If you don't like the First Lady just say so but don't gag or define her.Right now anyways, we the Kenyan Public, are not liking what most of you politicians are doing. You only know how to be activists and not governors.You are forever thinking that Kenya is in a state of elections. How else do you explain the noise?

Remember what the Bible says about the speck in your brother's eye? The plank is sitting right in your eye. A whole plank.

Stop with the dramas already. Get used to a strong woman for a First Lady. After all she is not coming to your houses to ask for dinner or lunch.


I haven't blogged lately. Obviously l have a lot to say.But the greatest lesson l have been learning lately is that life is a gift. Another beautiful thing l am learning is to be grateful for what l have.

I have also been learning to be grateful for the country l live in-Kenya.We complain so much that sometimes in the fullness of negativity, the good that God has given us is forgotten. How sad. How very sad.

Gifts such as healthy lives and relationships should not be taken for granted. When all is said and done, that is truly what matters.

Today, l was reading something by Rev Rick Warren about life. He says that he has been to many a bedside of people who lay dying.None of them ever said, "Bring me my diplomas! I want to look at them one more time!"

If you ask me, l think that is truly profound.Just a thought, as you go on with your life.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005


There's a thought playing in my mind. It refuses to go away. I guess it is because we are watching the Vatican 24hours a day.

I have been thinking that the church is missing a lot and that it needs to learn a few things from the late Pope John Paul II. I was in a meeting where somebody told me that it is not by works we get to heaven. Those who prescribe to that, will agree wholeheartedly. That is their point of view and they are entitled to it.

Flip that coin and check out how many times the very same people have been accused of not 'feeling' for their communities. When you argue that faith without works is fine aren't you contradicting the very same Bible you believe in? When you say works don't take you to heaven, are you then saying that works are not important? If so, how then are we supposed to know that you are cut out from a different specimen?

To color our world blessed, to color our world with beautiful contributions, our works must actually testify to that. Our works, no matter how unimportant they may seem, affect our neighbors. You can hold whatever view you want. After all it is a free world. But remember the works you display, those you are judged by. It is a life-changing way to live with your works coordinating with your beliefs.

Dr Dennis Anderson once said, "You cannot see faith, but you can see the footprints of the faithful." We must leave behind "faithful footprints" for others to follow. Faithful footprints like those of the Pope and of other remarkable people who walked the earth.

Saturday, April 02, 2005


I don't know if it is me only; but l am sad that l like this Pope more now than ever. Not that l had any beef with him before. My earnest prayers are with him.

I have been watching CNN and SKY and l truly like what l hear about this very genuine spiritual figure. I listened to Sky news this morning as the anchor presented some highlights on the Pope's life. I was amazed. It made me think,"what will people say of me when l am dying or dead?" His very public suffering as he fights for his life has caused me to think deeply about my life. What legacy am l leaving behind? When all is said and done, what will be said of me?

These are questions we should ask ourselves as we watch and pray for the Pope. These are questions if not answered now, will cause you to live a life worthy of no mentionable legacy.

According to me, this is a man who has lived a worthy life. Otherwise, please explain to me why there is deep soul searching among the human race? No one elicits that kind of phenomenon unless they lived a worthy life.


I have been thinking for a long time now about staying steady and focused on achieving my goals. For the longest time now, l held the view that l should re-strategize to enble me to make my dreams work. True. But that was until l came across an article from one of the many ezines l receive.

It was all about commitment. The writer submitted that if one wasn't committed to seeing a goal to the end then there was nothing that could ever be done to help the person. He suggested that committment showed the level of one's personal integrity.

I also liked what he said about accomplishing your goals,"What point is there to set up goals you know you won't meet?" For a moment there l was taken aback. I pondered on that thought. I concluded that the whole article was an eye opener.

I remembered some of the goals l had set and not accomplished. I began to think through my options. It then dawned on me that indeed personal integrity is tied to accomplishing your goals.

Most of us have lost personal integrity. We say we will do something and a few months, years down the line that doesn't happen. So what really happens? Usually there is no explaination that one died therefore this or that could not be done.

My conclusion then is that for me to get anywhere in this beautiful life, personal integrity will be tied into all l wish too accomplish.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Exactly who are these human rights activists fighting for?

There are many debates going on in Kenya right now. But l will pick up only one. The one of shoot to kill - An order that Hon. Michuki the Minister for national Security in Kenya gave.

First, l believe that in the grand scheme of things, all life is precious. So its not like l will sit here and watch people die and smile. That will be sadistic of me.

Lets take this to another level. I believe that the activists who are busy shouting down Mr Michuki's orders have two things in common. One-they have never experienced these thugs in action. Secondly- they live in plush areas in this city or country at that and have body guards to boot. So in essence, they are not living in the real Nairobi.

The real Nairobi is what my friend encountered on Thursday when she was on her way home. A route she is familiar with had taken a new look of violence. A few hours before she got there a woman had been shot in the head resulting to loss of her teeth. As we speak, she is in Kenyatta hospital. Another person had his head split nearly into two in the same area and on the same night. He is also in hospital fighting for dear life.

Question-where are these human rights activists when people are dying after tortures hours in the hands of men-turned-beasts? Where are they?

I believe that human rights activists have a place in our world. But when they begin to behave like they are not part of a society then they raise eyebrows. I would like to know if any of them have watched their wives, daughters or even mothers raped by hooligans who you are not sure have the HIV virus. I would like to know if they have opened their doors to a terrified neighbor who had a gun to his back but who couldn't say so because thugs were behind him. I would like to know if they have faced a gang who have threatened to pass the HIV virus to their wives and daughters if they didn't co-operate during a robbery. Exactly who are these human rights activists defending?

I know that there is the issue of gun-totting policemen getting trigger happy to the detriment of a reasonable society. But l also know that this is not what Hon. Michuki wants unless l am mistaken.

So lets get some balance here. Hon. Michuki ask your men not to get trigger happy. If they do, let them face the full force of the law. As for you Human rights activists, shout about what makes sense or shut up. Remember, while you have your whatever number of bodyguards, some of us have to kaa ngumu in a country we love yet gone bad. Make yourselves useful by knowing which angle of the argument to take.

Percy Barnevik, an executive once said "You must avoid the investigation trap you can't postpone tough decisions by studying them to death." And that is to you dear colleagues in the human rights arena. This is a tough decision. But how are we going to claim our country from thugs?

Sunday, March 20, 2005


HIP HIP HOORAY, HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!! Hooray baby to the Kenyan Spider squad. Oh this was one of the best newscasts that l had ever watched. It was like watching Criminal Intent.

First it was horrific. Kenyans who watched on KTN the thugs who were terrorizing people on outering road, will bear witness that it was nerve wrenching. It was scary to watch people's property being stolen in broad daylight as the other motorists watched helplessly. As it is, the economy is not exactly smiling with or at Kenyans. So when someone thinks they need your hard earned property more than you do, that is not a welcome joke. So one minute we are watching KTN broadcast these horrific scenes of theft on our screens, the next the Spider squad is saying hi to these thugs.

I was so happy to be a Kenyan. I love it when people put their money where their mouths are. KTN should keep at it. The Spider squad went after those guys. They caught up with them. Trust me every kenyan who had watched the horrific feature the previous night, was giving a standing ovation to Brigadier Ali's team. And that, is what l like: If something is wrong, we do something about it. We don't sit and mourn over our country gone bad. Who? l pray thee, will save this country if we all decide not to make it better?

I wish Santa Claus would give me this wish..that every time a corruption case is mentioned it is pounced upon with no fear or mercy like the Spider squad did to those wakoras. Because in the grand scheme of things, those that steal from the Kenyan people are just like those Outering thugs.

So Hon. Ringera how about that? And don't tell me it is complicated. Because it is not.


Okay. If you have read my blogs you know by now that if l start my blog with OKAY!!! I am seriously angry.

Okay!!!! What is this about ministers in Kenya crying foul when the media gets to and at them?!!! The other day Hon. Kiraitu was in the media saying..I don't know why people don't like me. I don't know if it is the way l look blah blah blah!!! And that is totally paraphrased.

Anyways, l got so worked up because l could see that the meaning of choice here was not in play.What do l mean? What do you mean what do l mean?!!!!! Kenyans need to learn that the consequences we encounter in our daily lives are a result of choices we made and continue to make.

This Minister in question, had in the recent past right in front of journalists, decided to make a crude statement that exhibited primitiveness in way of thinking. Coupled with that, he laughed. A horrific moment for all the Kenyan women who watched that piece. Then he has the audacity to ask ..why don't these people like me? Are you kidding? They don't like you Mr Muheshimiwa. And it is all because you chose to take a road that would take you there.

I believe in choice and consequence. I believe that God has a part to play in our lives and that He has also given us a free will. I also believe He doesn't interfere with my free will. So my dear Mr Minister, this would be important to keep in your top reminders of the day: Choose to be polite and reasonable with the Kenyan people and you will have a good spot in their hearts. But when you decide that raping women will be a subject of laughter and a prolonged one at that, tell me- who will be smiling with you?

This goes out to all in parliament and leadership in the Public service. Think through your options before you open your mouth. Problem is, most of us talk as we think which makes for a chaotic combination. Some thoughts are better left as that, thoughts. Your PR person should have mentioned that.

Dear Honorable Ministers,

Don't make choices whose consequences you can't live with.

Sincerely speaking, that is purely COMMON SENSE!!

Monday, March 07, 2005


Here is a long blog, but stay with me you'll understand why.

This has been a revealing moment for me. Have you ever written a piece in your head, that is before you get it down on paper, only for you to realize it reveals too much about you? About us? That’s what l feel about this blog. I have been thinking about my life.

In another life it seems, If l believed in a project, l would do it based on my belief of the result it was projected to contribute to humanity. If l got offered a project and l didn’t see how it was helping the world become a better place, l simply turned it down. This was regardless of how much money l was going to get at the end of the project. Noble? I think so. But my friend when l look at my life, l seem to have moved from there. Thankfully l am going back to my roots. Something happened that triggered this blog. Allow me to say l learn from my mistakes, and pretty fast baby. Did you know that you learn more from your failures than from your successes?

Today as l was walking to the stop to get a matatu l thought, “honey what changed?” When did you get so possessive of getting paid on time? About backing off from a contract if payment was not assured, even though l supported the cause? When did that lady l stare in the mirror everyday change?

At that point, My mind jogged to our political arena. The Kenyan political arena that is. And for the first time l wondered are these people we sometimes like to refer to as hooligans a reflection of us? Of Me?

How many times have we as Kenyans living in Kenya and in the Diaspora criticized the government of corruption, which is embodied in our employment system? Our school system, tendering systems and every other arena you can think of? How many times have we criticized the government for lack of preparation for everything they did?

AND NO KENYANS, l am not supporting anyone here. I have not been bought by anyone other than my belief system. I am just helping us think, critically for once.

When, dear Kenyan, you do a sloppy job and you know it, aren’t you reflecting one of our Kenyan leaders? Like our Nairobi Mayor who keeps promising things will be done at certain times only they are done half way and sloppily. Plus more ministers who have promised to do stuff and done it badly. When you promise to deliver a job on time and it is either late or doesn’t show at all or when it does, it is not what was ordered for , aren’t you reflecting the way our constitution has been treated by our ministers? When your cousin, daughter, sister or brother gets a job or when she/he gets a an internship in your organization, because you are the boss, aren’t you practicing nepotism like most of our politicians? When you take the company car to run your personal errands aren’t you behaving like Honorable Ngilu before she realized it was wrong? So which part of this don’t you as a Kenyan understand? I mean the mirroring part.

You might not be in grand corruption like some very suspicious ministers who get shocked when they are mentioned adversely in these cases. You might not access the kind of money that the ministers have access to. But in a small way, if we get involved in what l just mentioned or more, you are mirroring our politicians.

Remember today you have the small office coupled with ambition. When your ambition gets its way and you get to the mheshimiwa’s office, the little corruption acts you entertain will just become grand acts of corruption. These thugs, as we like to call our ministers, didn’t start stealing today. I can take a bet on 99.9% of them and l will win the money. Remember these ministers we were just raiya like you and l. They were Unknown, trodden upon and yet ambitious. It was only a matter of time though before small vices they considered not harmful became grand and could not be ignored.

I am not saying the voice of reason that sends us all back to the drawing board to check our acts should not be raised. But the next time we criticize our politicians lets ask ourselves,

Are we getting angry with them because they are mirroring us? Are we getting angry because they might cause us to be revealed as their messes get investigated? Or, are we genuinely angry at promises not kept, jobs not done or done sloppily and systems that aren’t working?

Kenyans, Exactly what are we angry at and why?

Wednesday, March 02, 2005


Yesterday evening l watched in total awe as the KWS CEO Dr Julius Kipng'etich was talking to Louis on Newsline, a current affais talk show. I was besides myself at the display of character that came across from this dr.

If you ask me, Dr Julius should offer his time to schools that offer both BA and MBA. They will gain from his experience. This man displayed genuine interest in his job. The guy came into office no more than a year ago and yet he knows KWS like the back of his hand. He knows the weak links and admits to them and then tells you how he is countering them. He knows all the parks and the security guards. He refuses to be drawn into territorial fights about who did what before that was not right. He refuses to character assasinate anyone.

Dr Julius reminded me of Senator Hillary Clinton who is an excellent lawyer. If you have watched Senator Hillary get interviewed you will notice that she has a slicy way of getting around trick questions. She gives you an intelligent answer that later in hindsight you realize she expanded your knowledge on the very question you asked, yet didn't get drawn into unnecessary fights.

Dr Kipng'etich is the right person for that job. And it is true. He doesn't have to have been in Wildlife to make that place start glittering. This man knows his job and what is expected of him. If the Kibaki government could apply the approach this gentleman has to all the parastatals, believe me we can experience turn arounds.

It is unbelievable how CEOs refuse to be questioned by the very people they lead.The very people who help them achieve what they are supposed to be. After that interview l couldn't help but think about how he got all this info so right. But, It finally came to me. There are two angles.First, This CEO believes in teamwork. He got his briefings from the heads of these departments. And they must be good because they anticipated every question that Louis would ask, OR; Secondly, this CEO reads and reads and reads. Why? because he knows everything there is to know about KWS and some more. Plus he doesn't shy away from questions.

Kenyan CEOs and Politicians should purchase that tape and learn a thing or two on fielding questions from journalists. They will learn that defending yourself in the presence of blantant evidence of your errors makes you look bad. They will also learn about body language. That interview spoke volumes about the excellence this man was and has been living up to. It was only a matter of time before his meticulous efforts came to fore.

When all was said and done l remembered Igor Sikorsky's quote, “The work of the individual still remains the spark that moves mankind forward.”

Tuesday, March 01, 2005



Okay. I am trying very hard not to diss anyone especially knowing that we are not perfect. But here we go again. KENYAN POLITICS AND POLITICIANS.

Have you ever gotten angry mpaka ('till) you want to take a shower?!!!! That's how angry l am.

I won't even go into much. Instead l will dwell on something that l keep watching deteriorating on an hourly basis.

What is this thing about promising a nation something in order to get your votes and then turn around and not deliver it? Nini hii?!!!!! What is wrong with this picture Mr President?

Lets not go into all that has been promised us as Kenyans and has not been delivered. Lets go into the education system. Of course Kenya is being used as an example when it comes to meeting the MDGs by 2015. Bravo to Kenya!! But holla holla!!! Not too fast. Like many promises made by this government, this one on free education was made with no strategy of implementation and execution on the ground. A problem l think should have been sorted out earlier. When politicians go out to their constituencies and promise heaven, they had better have a strategist with them to provide it. Otherwise, it will be promising heaven delivering hell in the process.Like it is right now.

Good!!!!! kids went to school in the millions. Happy! happy! clap your hands and salute to these brilliant ideas!!!!!
But do you know that some kids can't go because they can't afford money to purchase desks, seats and what not?!!! Of course there are other things that are causing more hitches. But what puts me off is when there is evidence of a lack of preparation.

KENYAN POLITICIANS, Please Promise heaven but enlist the services of a strategist to think through the process of getting people there.
All this embarrasment of you not being able to achieve what you promised and in an organized fashion exhibits unbelievable confusion that is not supposed to be characterized with you.

Look at the health sector. You trying to introduce something people are not buying into by force. And of course other pet projects that seem to be getting injected into a patient who knows too much. Kenyans are unbelievably a receiptive group of people. If you as the government strategize meticulously, thinking through your options, you will have unprecedented success when you present your ideas. There will be no gaping loopholes.Make sure stakeholders across the board buy into your ideas. Don't force them. Work with them. Listen to them and don't try to pull their legs.

Kenyans are sharp. We will holla you down from your mighty high horses and in 2007, you will be gone like other careless politicians who thought we could not topple them.

Remember... you taught us that we have a voice. We learned from the best.
We learned from you. We are coming after you in 2007.
Mkae mkijua---you be sitting while you be knowing:-)

Monday, February 28, 2005


Holla Holla!!! Back off l am an angry Kenyan woman.

That's right. Who is this Sambu guy?Of course l know you know but who is he? Rhetoric question please.When you say that the team coach Muhidin didn't perform, what exactly do you mean? Do you mean a) That he has reflected the state of KFF? or b) You do not understand the meaning of failure? Which is it sir? And by the way, against which standard was he getting measured? What,Mr Sambu? I find it ironical that someone who has been there it October 04, as not even been given time to come up for air.

Mr Sambu, you should realize that the issue is not with the coaches Sir. NOPES. The beef with Kenyan football lies within the managing body, l assume KFF. History will testify to this. KFF is disorganized. So this then obviously spills into the field. When you don't avail all that is needed to ensure that the team trains right and sufficiently, you as KFF have already handed the failure report card to Harambee stars. You cannot demand of people a standard you yourselves have failed to keep.

This new coach should enjoy his 15minutes of fame while he can. In fact Mr Mohammed begin to work on your defense mechanism right now. Otherwise when you are unceremoniously dismissed you will go into convulsions of disbelief of Kenyan ungratefulness.

Mr Sambu, have you read the book failing forward by Dr Maxwell? If not,l suggest that that be your next addition to your library. It will help you learn what failure is. One thing you will learn is that failure is just that-failure. No one is a failure, only events or plans. Failure my dear KFF, tells you that you need to restrategize. That you need to go back to the drawing board because the initials plans have failed miserably. In this case, the preparation time for the team is what caused the great embarrassment. The team Mr Sambu, was just reflecting the state of KFF, l repeat. That my dear Sirs, is how you look in front of all Kenyans. So the team didn't need to collapse in front of the world for us to know that there was something wrong with them. The team had already failed before it left. The only thing they needed to do was to exhibit your questionable managing style to the world. The external conflict was a great display of what was going on internally.

So Mr Sambu Sir, in my own opinion, this should be the last coach you have taken in hastily. This should be the last time you have blamed players and coaches for your mistakes. Its like a parent blaming a kid for not going to school yet the parent didn't pay school fees. Ironical? Yet that is what your management displays. Unless you tackle the problem from the root, you will have more coaches than the several marriages that Elizabeth Taylor has had. In the end, the four fingers will still be pointing at you and wondering, why the hell you keep thinking it is others with the bigger plank.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


I have learned a lot about humility in the last few days. I guess l am still learning.

Have you ever accomplished something humongous only for people to turn back and deny you the credit? Well l am at that point in my life. I am learning the hard way in the class of life.The subject being humility. I am learning that in God's on time He lifts us up before nations. And its a lesson l am learning the hard way. Its when you don't get a deserved pat on the back. The funny thing is,you know you really don't need it. Yet it would be a good,NO, a great idea if someone came up and said you know that was a splendid job you did right there.But living with the feeling of non-recognition is tougher than l thought. Yet it feels good.It feels good because l know God is doing stuff behind the scenes that l am not aware of right now.

A paradox what this situation of mine can be called.One minute... l am greatful that l am not getting recognized. Another... l am wailing inside at the irony of having accomplished this yet without recognition. I just have this mixed moments in my life right now. But am cool. Yesterday l read something beautiful..that we attract success by what we become. That's deep if you ask me.

Friday, February 18, 2005


I have been here before. That looks like a situation l have been in before. Its dejavu baby.

Yesterday l had a two hour moment where l was put on the spot to apologize for getting offended for someone's irresponsible behaviour.

I know l sound so off its unbelievable. I also didn't believe it. What is it with people turning tables on someone who says something is offending them? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!!! If you get offended by something l have done, why should you be the one to apologize if you get offended? Why can't l look in the mirror and genuinely feel sorry that l put you in an awkward position? Something's wrong with this picture. Only l don't know what is.

I believe that apologizing for getting offended compromises my personality. Why? It means that its okay for you to do what you have done. I am fine with it. It is defining me. It is asking for uniformity and not diversity. Yes baby diversity. Being different should not threaten us. Instead it should allow us to celebrate our differences. Imagine if God created all of us the same? Brother it would be a uniformity nightmare.

I read something interesting today..some devotional which said..Jesus came to save us from sin, not to take our minds. That statement right there celebrates diversity. Look around you and let it click..DIVERSITY BEGETS BEAUTY BABY.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


Hey wassup?!!! Today is a bright day both outside and inside my roho. I am so excited mental acrobatics wrote back. You guys are cute. Asante.

Today is my status meeting day. Trust me, my diary is being followed to the point especially the last 24 hours. I am thinking Lord where did l slow down? What happens when you have a deadline you have been ignoring creeps up? My creativity is at its best. I am doing things l said l would do sijui when. Now l am at full speed. This doing thing is something else altogether. My manager is coming in, in a few hours time. She will look at my diary and everything l said l would do and hasn't been done, will be charged. Na hacheki na mtu. She is crazy.Then we will set up my schedule for the next two!!! So you can understand why l am seriously pursuing the goals l set out two weeks ago.

When you see someone at the top, please ask them what they had to do to get there. Of course l am talking about those who honestly got to the top.

I read something that stuck with me the other day. What do you need to sacrifice to get to your dream? Something has to go,l just wonder what. But trust me right now, l need to finish everything that is in my diary.

I promise l am not walking this path again..the path of postponing and doing things last minute

Monday, February 14, 2005


Okay. I am honestly trying to have people visit my blog and read on, plus comment. I just seem not to be able to get it going. So l have stopped complaining. I am reading everything that would help my blog get read. Anyways, the last few days have been interesting.
I am at a place you call the'doing part.' This is the place where you do what appears in your diary. No postponing or anything like that. But of course the postponing is kinda getting the best of me. Seeing l have a status meeting coming up on Thursday, my days are filled with making sure what l said l would do is actually done. That is the advantage l have found with having someone to be accountable to. It gets tough at some point because the speed alone can actually take you up and down a mountain.
Today l got stalled coz the IT guy was working on my comp. Okay usually l would find something else that needs doing then l would roll on. But today, l just wanted to work on the comp. I was just taken aback. I need to think straight. I need to keep going. I think l stalled somewhere and l need to start all over again. Don't you ever wish that every day was a holiday? But that Bible verse that talks about laziness couldn't be more real about poverty grabbing you like a thief. Okay am done talking about how bad things are or how tough it is reaching my goals is. Lets just get to it.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005


Its been a long time since l blogged. But here l am. I went out for a workshop that saw me change the way l work. That's what l am implement what l learn.
Most of us by now have either forgotten their goals for the year or are just about to. Don't l urge you my dear.

Last week l did something that has helped me since. I retained one of my friends as my manager.Huh? Yeah just got celebrity ideas. But what my manager is doing is helping me to reach my goals thereby making my dreams a reality.
I retained her services after l realized that l have too many dreams that never see the light of day. Other goals start their way to reality only not never get accomplished. This is partly because of my temperament. But now l have a counter for that. Because excuses don't become me. So here l am.

It is pressurizing but exciting.Pressurizing because l have a status meeting coming up next week on Thursday. Everything l said l would do will be examined. Delivery and timing will be questioned.And my dear friend laziness is not an option.

Okay am done talking baby. All l can say is by April l will have accomplished my goals.God willing

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Oh brother!!!!!

This is a time to take stock of the year that is just began. Okay that is what l like to do. For me, l don't write resolutions in January. I have them set in September. Like l said in an earlier post, resolutions for me are set on my birthday month. Trust me, l have the whole month to think about them.

Okay so what's the beef? Oh!!! Brother!!! Just let me cry about this. I am not handling my goals very well. Falling back,  that is what the situation is looking like. First, l am sitted here writing this blog. This is 'doing the right thing at the wrong time' scenario. Am very spiritual. Today is a prayer day and l am creating all the excuses l can, to not go. From -  my shoes are too high(really true) and l have a long walk to the church to am l really sure it is today?' questions.

Someone once told me that this is the most critical moment in every project or goal or whatever it is one wants to achieve. Why? I wondered then. Now l know. Its Because,  I have just realized, that l am at a phase where l can either go forward or fall back on my commitments.' There's no gray area here.  It is painful, to say the least.The involuntary guilt  trips l am taking can only be imagined.

So dear me, l have decided to take some advice l have been reading from a couple of my friends on the net. Two things..One:- Don't beat yourself up that there's  nothing left to pick up when you recover from this inactivity coma. Secondly:- There's always room for improvement. No matter how much you fail to make the cut, tomorrow will always be there for you to start again.

Oh brother!!! I wish l can remember this every time l am taking the flight to guilt city. I know that quitters are not winners and winners are not quitters. Now is the time to put that to test and see how goes it. I'll tell you about it later.


I was writing this blog while walking to work today.


I have been thinking about this for a long time. This is especially because of an incident that occured a few days ago. It really was ugly to say the least. But what was even uglier was that the organization involved decided to deny responsibility. It was obvious that they were on the wrong.But instead of realizing that, they took to burying their heads in the sand.

That incident, that would have been prevented had they explained themselves in the first available opportunity, will cost them millions in legal fees.

So what was so wrong with their handling the situation?

They let the media define them. And that is where l come in. These guys didn't come out strong in apology, a contigency plan and whatever else that would have helped them. Instead they allowed people to define who they are. And that is what happens when you allow other people who don't care about your vision, mission and objectives define you.

People define others through their negative comments and curt remarks. You allow them to do so when you stop a very critical project you have going. When you kill that dream because they said it couldn't be done, then they define you.

I am learning that people will continue to define me as long as l live. And l have refused to be defined. If you think l cannot make it because my target is too far, so be it. If you think that my making it is subject to your thoughts or otherwise, that's all good too. Why? Because an opinion like a friend of mine said, is like a shirt. Even a fool has it. I know that sounds crazy but that's just what l want you to keep in mind when you decide to define anyone.

I believe a few people could have good comments that could both edify and lift my spirit. Those to me are important. From them, l will take corrections. But to the rest who the glass is always half full, too taken.

So define my dear, but do it with a clean heart . Remember your defining might either propel forward or hold the dreamer back