Wednesday, January 04, 2006


I don't want to want it so bad that l will cheat, lie and scheme to get it.

Okay back up right there.Ni nini?

Okay l am talking about this Korean scientist who lied about the cloning stuff.
I believe the world watched in horror as he said all that he needed to confess. Some of those around him were even crying.I don't know if it was in disbelief, dissapointment or the feeling of being let down.

But as l watched that piece l just kept having a nagging question that refused and refuses to give way... why is it we want something so bad that we lie to get it? Why is it that an athlete wants the medal so bad that he takes enhancement drugs? Baby you want it so bad you lie, cheat, scheme and do whatever else to just get it.

aaaahmmm!! lets make something clear. I am not a saint. I have my chaotic side as do all of you. But l am at a place where l have decided and told God to help me not to want anything so bad that l have to lie to get it.

My question is ...don't you ever think you will get caught? Maybe you don't care about being caught. But Lord where did our morals go? Where did our consciences go?

Do you want it that bad that you will lie, cheat and scheme to get it? Mimi a Kenyan l need to be enlightened. Kwani nini?

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


I am trying to finance an addiction l have. I need you to help me.

The addiction is reading books and business mags. I am actually trying to figure if l am reading or buying books because it gives me a high or its a need. I just have this need for information. I just don't know where it came from.

Flashback kidogo...l used to read 2 or 3 books a day when l was in primary school. The Hardy boys, Nancy Drews, Mills and Boons and zingine nyingi. If l borrowed your new novel and you said no, you needed to guard it with your heart. Otherwise by the time you went home, you would not have it. Plus you would out rightly know l had it. But l had to read it anyways. On top of which, l would surely return it the next day. I didn't know that this habit would get to this.

Sometime back,I read 3 or 4 magazines that mentioned the book Emotional Intelligence. I mean some 2 Harvard Professors had quoted it, plus a Fortune mag l was reading plus some other books l had bought. Shortly, l had to get that book. Do you know, l had to go to three bookshops before l found it. Meanwhile some executive was waiting for me because l was like 15 minutes late. But maaaaaan!! my addiction had to get watered.No l didn't keep the executive in the dark. I called and asked for a few extra minutes.

Now this addiction is going to chaotic places. I get reading bouts once or twice every week. How else can l explain them. Sometimes l just get this urge to know. I get all my latest books and read them - underlining, bouncing the ideas in my head as l analyze them aloud. These reading bouts can go anywhere from 5 to 8 hours in a night. No, no, no l am not reading for exams. I am reading just so that l know.

I get satisfied just having read 3 chapters of a challenging author's book. I get such an adrenaline rush when l buy a book l have been looking forward to read. It doesn't matter how expensive the book is, l will get it and l will seek to understand it. I know this sounds so bad. But this is what my life is.

Okay now, l have to figure how to finance my reading addiction because baby,l ain't getting off this train.



Hmm!! Today is the first day of work. Manze nimechoka you'd think l was in a shamba limaing. My holiday was a real holiday. I slept loads, bought books and read them, watched tv, slept and then read some more. What more would you want from a holiday?!! So trust me when l say fatigue is written all over my face.

Happy New year to y'all who set goals in January. I am actually reviewing my life. And no, that didn't start on the 1st. It started in September when l celebrated my birthday. Yes, my year starts then not in January. So by the time guys are getting excited and are setting their goals and promising to keep their end of bargain, mimi, either nishaboeka or am in full gear.

I am beginning to be very cautious about this life. I am at a place in my life where l know success does not come overnight; where you will not excite me with get-rich-quick schemes(for y'all who send me those:-) ) Have l given up? Actually no. I have this relationship with life that makes for a romantic read.

I have all these ideas l am working on. Right now, l am almost debt free. I have paid up quite a number of debts l had. Eeeh!!No l didn't win the lottery. I just realized to get a head l need to have good debt, not debt that is meaningless. If l have to use my credit card l need a sawa reason to use it. If l need a loan l need a good reason to actually get one. No my dear, my life is not strict.

In fact, l think l am very lenient with me. I walk into bookshops and hug like 5 books. I end up leaving about 5 or 6k of my money with the smiling attendant. I love reading and especially books that challenge me to greater heights of thinking. I like books that stretch me.

Do you know books that stretch? Okay here...those books that you have to read one sentence 5 times to just understand what the guy is trying to sema. Why bother? You wonder. Baby,l loves the challenge. So l ask, why not bother?

That stretching of mind l experienced it when l first started reading Havard Business Review and Fortune. Men!! l'd read a sentence till my head just went giddy. Now however, something bad happened. I am an addict to these mags. Of course and others including National Geographic.

Okay this year l am not kicking these habits. Instead l have to find a way to finance my reading addiction.Actually l have been trying to finance this habit since September.

So to y'all who set goals in this new year, l hope you stick with them mpaka mwisho.