Friday, July 22, 2005


This life of mine is full of drama. Its not all bad. Its good. At least 70% of the time.

For a long time now, I have had a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside.It comes from giving. And not giving because you have. Its giving because you want someone else's dream to come to pass.Its nice to help someone even when you know that they are not in position to help you back or give anything to you.I just can't explain it.Just that with my 2bob lt put a smile on a lady's face who's parents died of HIV/AIDS.
She's had a painful 6 years. Her smile just made me happy. It was enough.

Just to watch a few hours plus a few coins plus alittle advice help someone like that was totally awesome.

Again it is nice to give even when you know that the person you are helping is not able to repay.It is so fulfilling.

Now l know, there are two types of truth!!

I have not stopped feeling jittery about my dilemma. Although it is comforting to see the responses from you. They are totally uplifting.

Yesterday l was wondering more about the weight and credibility of truth. I was just thinking sometimes someone with no status or at a disadvantaged position can say the truth. But someone who has the position and status in society can actually discredit the smaller person and make them look bad. Two types of truth. Just like akiey said l hope it comes back to them.

Okay enough about my truth and the terror its causing me. Actually for real it is terror. You know l have this one good shot at something l really want and then this comes up. Lord, it just jeopadizes the chance. But l am hoping and praying that these people will not come after my opportunity and block it on account l opened my mouth.

I now know, that before l say anything even if it is how truthful, l have to think about the consequences. Flip the coin and my personality just got a beating. Why? I am result oriented. So if something is not attended to in a long while l get jittery and speak out.

Oh dear, why is life so complicated?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Truth will set you free but not before you get into trouble

I have realized that some animals are more equal than others.I have also realized the reason why whistle blowing is not anybody's favourite cup of tea. Oh!! they knew about the pain that would be part of the consequence.

I didn't whistle blow, l only said the truth about what some people said. Then l reported it in an email, not at work, but at some fora.You guessed it, l got into trouble. Not big time trouble, but trouble.

I have since realized that the truth shall set you free is a necessary verse in the Bible. But what it doesn't add is that the truth can get you in a lot of trouble.
Now do you wonder why so many people had rather keep quiet than admit the truth? The powers that be would take all the time to hit and squash them to oblivion.
I have never hated the truth like l do now. Not that l embrace deception, just that l feel trapped by my beliefs and values. Suddenly l realize many people lie and get away with it. But not for the small person.

Sometimes its not what you are saying that's important, its who is saying it.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Where have l been?

Hey wassup world?!!!!

Finally l am here and excited about what is going on in the world of me. Okay that totally sounds selfish. But its true. I am happy that l held on to a dream.I want to work on it though because l have realized before a dream comes to completion, you truly have to keep fighting for it.I now know that it is one thing to have a dream said, it is totally another to action it. It is also another to see it come true. Finally l get to do my MBA in Project management. Then after that, run towards my PHD. Trust me, l have been all over this and l need to have this going. I have no alternative but to run with this.