A LASTING LOVE AFFAIR

I am in love with you and l can't explain it

I just know thinking about it brings tears to my eyes

Thoughts about you bring warmth to my heart

They bring a profound feeling of beautiful satisfaction

I am in love with you but l can't explain it

I just know

I sit in Your presence and hear Your children sing

I hear them worship and beautifully praise You

With the Knowledge that your children accompany

The Cherubims, Seraphims and the 24 elders who stand before you day and night

I am so mesmerized in Your presence

I feel broken yet whole because l know You

I am in love with You but l can't explain it

Because truth is....l can't

You overwhelm me with the essence of You

Who are You?What are You? I have this love affair with You

Yet l can never totally grasp You

I can never understand You because You are God

Who am I for You to love like You do? So intensely, so genuinely, so jealously

Who am l that You have commanded angels to be at my service?

You overwhelm me with the essence of You

I am deeply in love with You

Even though l can only love You with my earthly understanding limited way

I am in love with You but l can't explain it

Because truth is ....I can't

I want this love affair to go for eternity

aaaaahhh I want those that watch on the side to say

Indeed that is a love affair

I am in love with You

It is not what You do, though that is part of it

But the essence of You, the beauty of You

The knowing that l am loved and cherished Just as l am

I am so in love with You, You the creator of the universe

I am in love with You but l can't explain it

Because truth is....I can't

I am in love with You and that thought

That thought brings warm tears to my eyes

You...I am in Love with You

C'EST LA VIE

I am reading my last entry and l am all smiles. Cynical about God?!Really??? Hmmm!!! I thank God that that phase was part of my life.Now l know how gratefulness starts.I am really grateful to Him that when things really got rough l stayed in the presence of God.God has our solutions.He brings solutions.He grants us brilliance to maneuver out of life's messes and then some.

Now l am at a place where l trust Him completely.I don't get smart with Him.I just trust. Trust me,life has never been this better. I guess l needed to go through that cynicism stage for me to get here.I want to stay here. A place dreams are realized because He is in control. A place of comfort, trust, beauty and grace.

UNCHARTED WATERS

I have not been here before. I have become cynical towards life, God, love among other things.I don't know when l got here.I just know l am.I need to get out of here though.I need to get to a place where l have a better outlook on life.I don't know if it is because l have been trusting God for a number of things and have waited for so long.I need to get out of this moment that is so stressful.I hear people say that someone became an overnight sensation.What crap!!! By the time those dreams come to pass, you have died a thousand deaths,lost hope and gotten back.Plus life loses its meaning.So you go back to where you started and hope that your dreams will come to pass.

I need to get back to where l dreamt big dreams and knew it would actually come to pass.How do people go through this stage and live to tell about it in a victorious session? I guess that is where my journey will start.

You still have the thunder girl!!!

Wassup!!! Today l spoke to someone who was referred to me by a friend.Oh!! my friend went on about something until this person said...ok lets call her up.

Anyways, what really got me was that this person,who l have never met, reminded me how it used to be when l was psyched up doing fundraising and communications.

Lately,that is up to like 2 hours ago, l have been having those moments that are called discouraging.Hmmm!!! l never had a lot of those.But the gist of this share is that l am now feeling alive.Is it because they just believed l could do this insurmountable task or what?I can't quite put my little finger on it.All l know is that l have gotten challenged to stop laxing,to stop giving excuses and stop acting like the rest of the crowd.

This is when l know God surely loves me. That at your end He sends someone to remind you that you still have the thunder in your spirit.That you can still achieve your dreams no matter how idealistic they seem to be.And for that...l am grateful...truly grateful.

Ruthless, lack of loyalty..Obama?

Have you read last and this week's Newsweeks? There is an article in last week's Newsweek which is an exclusive interview with President Obama. This week there is one title Getting to Know Obama. The following were my comments to Newsweek.

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Mr Jacob Weisberg's piece ..Getting to Know Obama...throws in a catch 22 spanner into the whole Obama personality and leadership style. Jacob's piece is what l need to temper the Obama on Obama article. Yet in my heart of hearts l don't want to hear that He is ruthless, arrogant and that he has a lack of loyalty(hey read the article.Not my words). So this is the part l agree wholeheartedly that everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

As a Kenyan, l want to read Jon Meacham's interview with Obama and leave it at that. That interview clearly tells me that there is a responsible president on board and a world leader to reckon with.

And so my dear editor, this is the part where l feel compelled to quote John Adair from his book Inspiring Leadership where he says..."Thought precedes decision;decision leads to action.Depending on the circumstances, and especially upon the degree of crisis, as a leader you need to know when to cut off the debate and to initiate the action phase." Some paragraphs in Jacob's article actually agree with the above statement. Obama is a man who likes to make decisions and stick to them. Plus he is surrounded by competent advisers.

I don't like the tempering bit but it helps me stay sober about this man whose personality easily overwhelms. This is a man with a lot of common sense. And believe me, common sense is not so common.

I wonder ..four years from now what....

There is something funny that happens when you read your entries of them days.You could have two reactions.It would either be shock at your naivity or brilliance.You would also be wondering what happened that you had either reaction.

Today is such a day.It is kinda going to 8.30pmish here in a cold Nairobi and l am reading some of my old entries.I laugh aloud at my struggles and victories of gone years.Hmmm!!!!! I keep wondering...what will l be saying about this part of my life when l look back 4 years from now?

All l know is that life is in God's hands.I can't wait to see what l will say.I only pray it will be of no regrets.

Hmmm!!! So how are your goals doing?

Hmmmm!!! June is here....at least around the corner.Can you believe that...June 2009.So checklist of your goals that were set at the beginning of the year.I know.Been there, done that bought a tshirt and baby won't you believe..it didn't fit.

Anyway...l have decided to be kind to myself and to always remember God is in control.God knows it all and God will not let me go through what l can't handle.I love Him completely even though sometimes not so perfectly.I still am in love with Him for who and what He is to me.

Now that right there...is a goal l want to keep having.Loving God completely even though l know He knows it is not so perfectly.